As the holiday season begins to roll in, I find myself struggling more and more everyday. Struggling to find some kind of routine, some kind of familiarity.

This past week, I was absent from blogging. Not really by choice, but more by necessity. I started this blog for my mom, but as time has passed it's become more and more of a personal journal, like it should be.

This past weekend, I had a lot of firsts. First time going to New Orleans by myself in a very long time, first time at my paw paws camp this year (? maybe), first date after being broken up with (huge step for me), and first time just letting go since being broken up with.

Now, by letting go I mean just that. Letting things roll off my back and just letting everything happen. Memories were made, as were friendships. Bonds were broken, as was my heart. But you know what, sometimes you just need to feel everything; the pain, the happiness, the sadness and the lost soul feeling that seems to accompany these things.

I'm not saying these things are going to get easier, but as the days go on, I can tell I'm becoming stronger; a better person, because at this point, it's who I need to be. Not for anyone else, but for me.

Who do you need yourself to be? 

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